2020…You Filthy Animal
I was on a drive with my husband (or a roll as we comically call it), and he suddenly turned to me and said “everyone has been saying how bad 2020 has been, but I think it’s been our best year ever.”
I literally stared at him in disbelief. Um hello PANDEMIC!! Even putting the pandemic aside, this year has been full of such heart break and sadness for us!
His work trailer was stolen AGAIN, a friend of our lost her son, 2 of my uncles died, I hit a wall with work and burnout and my younger brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer!
And this was our best year ever?
When I listed these things off, he looked puzzled and then agreed with me that perhaps it wasn’t, but why did he feel so good about it?
I had to admit though, I kinda felt that way too.
Was it the perseverance that we showed by wading through all the shit storms? The bond we felt trying to navigate the sickness of my brother together? The fact that we as a family have been spending so much time together because that ALL we can do?
Nope. I mean all that stuff is awesome, but it didn’t make a great year!
And then we looked at each other and smiled.
Our sweet granddaughter that literally has made wading through the mud of 2020 bearable. The driving force behind smiling family photos and joy within our walls.
It’s inexplicable the feeling that a grandchild can bring, and I know a lot of you can relate to this. It goes so much deeper than the old “you can give them back” saying-because a lot of the times you don’t want to give them back.
Seeing your child hold their child with such love and tenderness, to know that they are feeling those same dreamy feelings you felt is unmeasurable, and a really proud, heart bursting thing.
Evie has brought a unity to our family. When she is here everyone congregates to wherever she is. The littlest noise she makes causes an uproar of laughter and never mind when she reaches for you….it’s all over emotionally!!
It reminded me of how important it is to be grateful for everything in my life.
And that made me grateful for a ritual I began a few years ago.
I began a New Years ritual of leaving the crap of the previous year behind. I listed all the shit of the past year and then get serious and pick out the good that came out that shit…the gems. I then release it by burning it.
This year is no different. I’ll meditate and get quiet, make my list and cleanse my psyche. Then set my intention for the next year, my big one, and then begin working towards it.
In doing so, I choose to end 2020 not with a “fuck you” but with a thank you.
Thanks for the lessons I hated learning, the feelings I never wanted to feel and the stress unlike any I’ve ever felt before.
But mostly, thank you for the most amazing gift I never knew I wanted.
How are you celebrating the New Year? Are you a ritual type of person, or do you just ring in the year as if it were any other day?
Happy New Year friends,
May 2021 fill us with joy and love,
P.S. Are you interested in my New Years Ritual? I made a worksheet I follow and you can grab it here!!!