Well all that hustle and bustling is now finished and the chill time is coming on..
How did you do?
I did pretty good. But…I’m not going to lie, Christmas Eve was a little tough for me. WTF? Why? Well at first I had no idea why….why was I teary, why was I lonely, why wasn’t I feeling joyous?
As I scrolled through my Instagram looking at everyones amazing Christmas I saw all the super happy families, all smiling for the camera, so excited for the season and for the time they were spending together. And the same thing was going on over her at the Booth household. Mom came by and we had an amazing dinner that Kev and I prepared together (BTW he’s vegetarian now….more on that later), we laughed and talked about how exciting this time of year was, how bad Kev is at cooking turkey and how the boys wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight because of the excitement of their gifts in the morning. Mom gave us her gifts, we gave the boys their “Mom Loves You” gifts and Kev and I exchanged presents. All amazing, fullfilling and so full of love traditions that I look so forward to every year. Then Mom went home, the boys all went to bed.
I jumped in the tub (because hello 108 sun salutations still got my hammies angry) and silent tears flowed.
Was it Dad? I do always miss him when there’s a family get together. But nope, and man, there was some guilt with admitting that! Was it lack of sleep? I did work nights and slept only 3 hours…..nope.
Ok, time to practice what I preach….
I put pen to paper and wrote it out. And guess what I discovered by writing down words and thoughts in my very unorganized way…all those amazing Instagram pics were eating at me. Because let’s be honest, my day sounded amazing, and PLEASE don’t get me wrong, it was, I love every second all my boys are in my home together….BUT….it’s not always rainbows and butterflies-as we all know!
For example, we all get matching pajamas to wear Christmas morning, I’ve always done it-and the boys ALWAYS roll their eyes at me.
Kev cooked in his UNDERWEAR, and complained about me having to share both counter space and the oven-ALOT. And then because he’s vegetarian now (holy hell), was hangry and didn’t eat dinner….even though I had an amazing veg dinner made! He just sat there like a vegetarian lunatic.
My boys will NOT take a picture whilst smiling. URG!!! It’s so irritating, and they get so irritated with me for wanting family pictures. There’s always bribery, begging and promises to not share them online. Honestly I just want one freaking picture with everyone smiling!!! They are literally laughing and joking SECONDS before the camera goes off!! JUST FUCKING SMILE!!!
OMG, don’t even get me started on the Christmas tree…
I’m sure there were more, and they are not new. It’s these types of things that always happen over here. These types of things that Kev and I usually chuckle or roll our eyes at together as we head to bed, excited ourselves for Christmas morning.
As I thought about all this, a huge smile came to my face.
These are Booth traditions.
My boys will likely never smile in a posed picture, or let me post pics without begging them….but they will all wear those pyjamas and tell me they love me. They’ll always hug me goodbye and be respectful of my feelings. Kev will always be 100% comfortable in our home. As he has proved time and time again, he will wear what he wants, be angry when he “can’t” eat what he wants and always thank me for accepting him.
So…..the old everything looks so perfect online and why isn’t my life perfect feeling may have taken up a little space this Christmas Eve, I’m almost grateful for it. I realized just how imperfectly perfect things are over here. How proud I am and how in love I am. So…..
Not today Insta-envy!!
And because my kids will likely never read this blog…here my friends is the 2019 Booth Family Photo
Merry Christmas my imperfect friends!!